Just a Dream and the Wine to Carry Me (A Wine for Every Song on Christopher Cross’s 1979 Grammy Award Winning Self Title Debut Album)

BUT WHY do you ask? I think I was low-key accidentally conditioned to like soft rock since I was a child. I don’t know how long it went on for but I remember needing music to fall asleep and since it was the 80s, needed the music to just keep playing, and not be too crazy, my mom just put on some soft rock station. I really liked this soft rock station. I don’t remember the call letters, but I still remember the DJs voice so clearly. Sometimes he would take requests, you know, FOR LOVERS.  I, a mere 10-year-old, would call in and request Elton John’s Can you Feel the Love tonight “from Paul to Angie.” Look, I was obsessed with Geena Davis because A League of Their Own was on repeat and I was not allowed to see the rated R movie she was in that was released that same year, Angie. You know, I still haven’t watched that movie.

Over my adulthood, I’ve had weird Toto, Gerry Rafferty, Chicago/Peter Cetera phases, sometimes I turn into young Hallie. I swear I have a diverse listening library. Sometimes I just want to hear some dudes get in touch with their feelings while twinkling piano and soft guitar weave their magic in the background.

I also recently watched the Yacht Rock documentary which has some interesting information about Cross’s mega hit, Sailing, and how I supposedly Barbara Streisand was pissed that Cross took her Grammy. I guess people still consider Cross a one and done dude but he put out a bunch of albums after. I would argue that the first album isn’t all that perfect. There are a few songs I think frankly suck, but the rest of the stuff from the 80s was pretty good! Especially, Think of Laura and Nature off The Game. I haven’t dove into stuff after the 1988 release (Back of My Mind), even I can get “Crossed-Out” (TM forthcoming).

So yeah, here we are doing a wine pairing. Because if you read my Lana Del Ray album and wine ranking, sometimes when I listen to a song I just get this whole narrative scenario in my head and it spills over into wine descriptors, or make me think of a wine for that particular moment in time.

I also don’t want to tell you how long I tried to decipher the difference between a riff a lick and a solo. I think what I’m hearing are solos, but to me they are riffs, and Riff O’Meter sounds way better that Solo O’Meter.

01 - Say You’ll be Mine

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – danceable – Its giving backyard BBQ vibes, summery swaying in between casual conversations. We want a wine here that says, “hey, its all good” and “right place and right time.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 4 out of 5 – I want this solo to be longer, more riffing Chris, more riffing…

What are we drinking? – Carignan Rosé (Mendocino, CA)

02 – I Really Don’t Know Anymore

How Slow is this Dance O’Meter – confusing - this one starts out weird and uneven, but once we hit the chorus with Michael McDonald it definitely improves. We want a wine here that says, “I’m having an identity crisis” or “fuck it.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 2 out of 5 – A decent riff that flows nice into the chorus but it’s muddled by the main back tempo which sucks. Is it a tempo? Music theory is not my strong suit.

What are we drinking? Malbec (Mendoza, Argentina)  

03 - Spinning

How Slow is this Dance o’ meter – oh very slow - This is some date night shit, maybe because this is a duet and I’m getting languid swaying on the dance floor vibes. The song has a nice bridge about how complicated people are with weird tinkling keys and horns. We want a wine here that says, “I’m the sexy thought bubbles.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – No Cross Riff? Denied – instead, it’s a trumpet solo? Very jazzy. Whoo weee.

What are we drinking? – Crémant D’ Alsace (Alsace, France)

04 – Never be the Same

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – dancing with yourself in the living room, but not too much, but the legs are moving – This feels very much so like a sitcom theme song from the 80s at times, just a single dude is a geometric pattern sweater bopping around the big city looking sad whenever he sees a happy couple. We want a wine here that says, “I’m a classic, but someday someone will see that I have something special.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 3 out of 5 – nice and clean, makes sense with the song.

What are we drinking? Chardonnay (Margaret River, Australia)

05 – Poor Shirley

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – danceable - I love the musicality, the journey we take with this song. It’s not a straightforward dance song but I feel like you could have interesting choreography with film noir elements. I’m really dreaming up a weird music video concept here, a merry detective, cheery but moody. We want a wine here that says, “I am the light, but I’m also the dark.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – No Cross Riff? Denied

What are we drinking? – Syrah (Côte-Rôtie, France)

06 – Ride Like the Wind

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – oh we dancing, maybe even a DANCE BATTLE - This one feels like a proper action movie song, it’s about running from something – McDonald’s SUCH A LONG WAY TO GOOOOOOOO  is urgent, and a little gritty. We want a wine here that says, “I’m intense, I’m busy, with a lot of weird history.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 5 out of 5 – almost a 1-minute riff at the end, and it fits the song.

What are we drinking? Carménère (Maule Valley, Chile)

 07 – The Light is On

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – more swaying while you chop vegetables than actual dancing– weird keyboard choices, is this about being afraid of the dark? Is this a metaphor for something? The Darkness is just outside! I don’t know, this song is all chorus. We want a wine here that says, “I’m just here to do one thing.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 2 RIFFS! 3 out of 5 – Both Slow pleasant riff kinda Stevie Ray Vaughn vibes

What are we drinking? White Zinfandel (who the fuck knows, CA)

08 – Sailing

How Slow is this Dance O’ Meter – oh its slow, probably (actually) just making love on a boat. Look, the canvas can do miracles. The song that launched a thousand honeymoons, and Cross’s career, we need a wine here that says, “I’m here to uplift this experience, I’m effervescent, I am THE VIBE.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – Piano SOLO? Yeah makes more sense…Piano Riff O’Meter…wait, more into the Chime O’Meter. The chimes are the real star here.

What are we drinking? Txakolina from (Basque/Northern Spain)

09 – Minstrel Gigolo

How Slow is this Dance O’Meter – No one should dance to this song. I hate everything about the lyrics, are women opening their hearts or their legs Christopher? The chorus (musically) is okay, and everything about it is so off, so basic. We want a wine here that says, “I’m phoning this in.”

Guitar Riff O’Meter Score – 2 RIFFS! These riffs deserve to be in a better song. 3 out of 5.

What are we drinking? Pinot Grigio (Veneto, Italy)